Some Stuff I'm Leaving Out Of My Speech on Friday

This Friday, aside from being the auspicious anniversary of my parents' eloping in Las Vegas thirty-eight years ago, will mark a nationwide rally against the HHS mandate which encroaches on the freedom of Americans' conscience.

My friend, confidante, and future personal shopper (if I ever feel the desire to shop somewhere besides a place that regularly scrawls "Ladies' Pants 3/$1.00" on their dry erase board, that is) has asked me to speak at ours. I accepted without demurring, especially since she offered to watch my children while I do so.

First, just a point of props: Anastasia is pulling this off with no budget, no time, and no backup. She is literally knocking on doors and insisting on the Christian fidelity of this case until authorities, municipal and otherwise, give their assent just to get rid of her. She has no concerns beyond pleasing Jesus, and it's energizing to listen to her speak about the whole affair. Gratefully, one of our Dominican friars of the Polish province is supportive and equally committed.

The other two speakers are polished professionals, both of whom I admire for their credentials as much as their cajones. I'm stoked to make an attempt at elucidating exactly why Barack Obama is a radical wannabe King America is better than this, and I pray to pierce the status quo that says too many people are uninterested in, unmoved by and uneducated on this mandate.

My only wish is that my husband could be in attendance. Despite my machinations to the contrary, he'll be at the employer of his choice on Friday, hustling for ten or twelve hours in order to provide for his family's material needs. Which is where I suggest the whiners who want to be paid to get laid go, too --- straight to work, for a company whose values comply with your own and vice versa. And remember, once upon a time, a boss began a business, which now hires you, in return for just wages. That's all you're entitled to. Since when did a job come with every conceivable (oops) lifestyle accessory just because it's trendy?

One possible takeaway lesson is "please don't start a business unless you want a whole crop of dependents, demanding their whims be met by your capital funds." What's wrong ladies, not getting any action? Next up, cosmetic surgery, financed by your boss!

Shock Poll: I have plenty of sex, but to be fair --- not everyone knows where to buy those 33-cent trousers ...