Friday, March 16, 2012

How To Kick Up the Holy Hilarity of Lenten Living

1. Ignore all spiritual and physical preparations for the Season.

2. Panic. Swear off electric light, caffeine, television and the computer.

3. Shop on Ash Wednesday for lamp oil and board games.

4. Read voraciously (until sixteen minutes before the ashes are placed upon your forehead) online of your friends' thoughtful, pious and fruitful plans ~ based in love of Scripture and self-examination.

5. Realize that in the absence of said sacrifices your life is mostly fueled by simple carbs and latent rage.

6. Fall humbly before God and receive assurance that despairing of human fragility is a waste. Press on!

7. Get really bored and decide to move across town.

8. Choose a house sight unseen, after a series of entertaining conversations with a transplanted Southern real estate broker.

9. Cheer when your husband says Yes!

10. Continue grateful prayers, even when shiftless handyman at new house seems to spend his days lying on an air mattress in your new living room, smoking The Pot.

Bonus Step --- P.S. This book is our family reading each night, and I've made it clear to all five of my sweethearts that if they'll let me read aloud to them (by lamplight! swoon) for twenty years or so, I don't need anything extra on my birthdays. Ever.

God's gifts are real. Claim them!

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